Its been a very long time since I took a serious look at Xanga. Mostly I skim through, check out the thinspo people have posted and hope everyone is doing well. I have not been committed for a long time. I have not been committed to making myself better. Six months ago I quit my job, I'd been beyond miserable stuck in a job below my education with a woman I would swear was kin to Satan as a boss. I simply could not put up with the verbal abuse and blatantly homophobic and racist slurs she would spout through out the office. Crazy to quit when the economy was bad but I had to decide whether I wanted to stay stuck in such a miserable world. By the day I put in my two weeks notice I knew for sure that if I stayed there I would die.
There are two problems with me quiting however. The first is that I am still unemployed. I can not seem to find work anywhere no matter how hard I try. On the plus side there I have managed to start working on my ms around, fast. I will not be a flabby bridesmaid.
asters degree which can only help me in the future. The other problem is that I spend the bulk of my day lazing about the house. I've effectively lost all motivation to work out or eat right. I have my family around me constantly, friends around all the time, and with that there is always junk and I don't even think twice about stuffing my face with it. Worse than that I never NEVER exercise anymore. My yoga mat stayed in one spot for so long that the pink hue of the mat transferred onto the wall it was leaning against. That is how unactive I have become.
I however have a big event coming up in a few months. My baby cousin is getting married and I am in the wedding. I absolutely have to turn thing
I will finish my masters degree shortly there after. I was quite portly at my Bachelors graduation and I refuse to look like a blimp at my next graduation.
Beyond that I really am ready to enter into a healthy adult relationship, I want to be able to be comfortable enough with myself that I can allow people to touch me. How can I expect a man to fall in love with me when I am not happy with myself?
I want to be the very best version of myself that I can be.
The first step is to get my motivation back. I know that becoming active here on xanga and being able to connect with the amazing stories of all you amazing women on my friends list. You are all truely the pinnacle of inspiration. I look forward to being able to applaud your successes and hope that you will except my invitation to share in mine.
